Chaos to clarity: Create your energy from the inside out
What are you thinking, right now?
As a coach I love this question. It creates a deliberate pause. It brings you back to your awareness, and with that curiosity. And what it does brilliantly is it allows a break, a separation between you and your thoughts. Allowing you to become the observer, the watcher, rather than the thinker.
Reading this, you might notice your thoughts have come flooding in; either you agree, or disagree, or you’re sitting on the fence.
What are you thinking? If you’re still here with me, I encourage you to notice, and get curious….
Our thoughts create and shape our reality. So whatever you’re thinking, you’re creating. Sydney Banks in his teachings about the Three Principles said that our reality is created by the thoughts we hold in our minds. What we experience as “real” is actually a reflection of our thinking in the moment.
I remember learning about the mind-body and this connection and our power in creating and thinking wow! How powerful are we?! It blew my mind to realise that thinking was then creating the lens I was looking through and how I felt about it and what actions I took, or didn’t take… all from my little old mind and the thoughts I had.
At this point, I still hadn’t grasped that I could control any of this, or separate myself from it. It still very much felt like part of me, and I was the way I was and that was that. And that being ‘a constant over-thinker, anxious worrier, drama queen.*’ Despite starting to learn about how thought and the mind worked, I was still busily doing and rushing and thinking my way through life, and not really paying attention to how my thoughts were becoming ‘things.’
*These ideas of me are of course all just thoughts.
After a hugely ‘triggering’ moment in 2020, something changed. I was scrolling through instagram, as you do, mindlessly seeking something. When I stumbled across Brett Moran doing a live video. He was a cheeky chappy, southerner which drew me in (honorary Northerner here but I’ll always be a Southerner at heart - sorry!). I started listening in as he was talking so frankly and passionately about “Waking the F up! To their power in being able to change their reality” I listened for a while as he talked about how people are “choosing to live in fear, depression, victimhood…” I could feel heat rising up inside of me. As someone who struggled with depression and anxiety, how could he say I ‘chose’ that?! I switched off and went about raging to myself for the rest of the day.
Yet, the next day, I came back, to listen to what Brett had to say. I don’t know why, curiosity maybe. And then, every day, throughout that first Lockdown (due to the Covd pandemic) I listened into Brett’s live videos. Where he shared his ideas and insights about consciousness and life, before guiding us through meditation. I had tried meditation before, but I had always dismissed it ‘thinking’ my mind was too busy to do it.
Something changed. Through every day practising, I started to see improvements and I started to see how meditation was making me more aware of my thoughts, helping me to let go of the catastrophising, the worrying, and self-doubt. It was helping me feel calmer, more focused and more connected. Nobody consciously ‘chooses’ to think negative thoughts or hold onto uncomfortable feelings. It helped me see that I could create my outer world from what I focused on in my inner world. I slowly, started to bring meditation practices into my routine. I started to notice more and more my thoughts and consciously consider ‘Is this thought supporting me?’ And if not, letting it go to allow another thought to come along.
I will forever be grateful to Brett for being part of my path in guiding me back to awareness. Which lead me to training with him and certifying as a meditation teacher to support others to come back to their power of connection and consciousness.
But the mind is a tricky little thing. It can’t be left to it’s own devices! That’s why awareness needs to be a practice, a daily devotion, rather than a quick life hack!
Despite knowing this, I still fell into the trap of going down the worry-rabbit-hole at the beginning of this year.
It was in the middle of going through a challenging time. Life had been turned upside-down for my family. My daily meditation ritual had fallen by the wayside. I had fallen in a bit of a rut of worrying about the future and what might happen and how or when things would ever be the same again.
Have you ever found yourself sat on a bench in the park wondering ‘How did I get here?’ And then wondering, ‘Is any of this real?’
Just me?! I had a full on Red Dwarf “Back to Reality” moment. It was as if I saw myself sat there, everything had slowed right down and I had a realisation; I can choose what I think about this whole situation. I can choose how approach this situation. I can choose what I focus on right now.
As I sat there on the park bench I watched people walking by, dogs playing with their tails wagging. I listened to the children giggling in the playground, the birds chirping in the trees. I sat there and in that moment it felt like time stood still. It felt like nothing outside of that moment existed. I had the awareness that in this moment, none of the fear of the future existed. In that moment all I was focused on was what I could see and sense around me. I felt this wash of relief that I could just for a moment let go of the worry and pain. And as I took a deep breath, I set the intention to recommit to awareness. I couldn’t control what was happening outside of me, but I could control what I focus on inside.
The challenges didn’t magically go away. But I felt calmer, less anxious and less busy-minded as we moved through it. I found myself able to create and sit in the moments each day and appreciate things more.
“As within so without, as above, so below, as the universe, so the soul” Hermes Trismegistus
We can’t change the world on the outside. It’s about focusing on changing it from the inside.
Here’s a meditation to get you started, or returning to a practice today:
And then reflect on….
What can you notice inside yourself and around you right now?
What reality are you creating and projecting?
What are you choosing to think about yourself and your life?
Start living from the inside out and notice how things start to change.
If you’re ready to live a more intentional, compassionate, fulfilling life and you’re looking for the steps, support, accountability and a sisterhood to cheer you on, check out my Love Yourself Membership for women
